Hey Friend!

Because most of the limiting beliefs and negative behavior patterns running in our subconscious minds stems from our childhood experiences (particularly with parent-figures), it makes sense that most people could benefit from Inner Child or Reparenting work.

In her book, How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole LePera writes, “most parent-figures never learned how to meet their own needs, let alone another person’s, passing on their own unresolved traumas and conditioned coping strategies. Even well intentioned parent-figures don’t always give us what serves us. Meeting all of someone’s varied and unique needs all the time is almost impossible. That said, if we lived with an emotionally immature parent-figure, our needs were likely routinely unmet or dismissed.”

Here are some common negative behavior patterns that indicate you may have a hurt Inner Child:
– Unexplained anger, outbursts, or aggression
– Wanting to control the behavior of loved ones
– Fear of abandonment
– Fear of rejection
– Fear of authority
– Feeling unworthy, not good enough
– Feeling like people don’t like you
– Problems with intimacy
– Not comfortable with challenges
– Addictions of all kinds
– Intimidated by sex
– Uncomfortable with love and affection
– “Acting out” sexually
– Hidden shame of self
– Lack of sexual involvement
– Not able to be authentic with true feelings
– Not able to hold lasting relationships
– Afraid to express needs
– Always need to be perfect
– Chooses abusive or emotionally absent partners

All children desire to be seen, heard and authentically expressed (essentially to be ourselves). When this is not supported or cultivated, those kids grow up to be adults that LePera says, “live from that protected place and familiar place of their ego (with all its stories) and often have an intense need to be ‘right,’ rejecting other people’s opinions and making others feel just as small and insignificant as they once did…

Others create avatars of themselves–always wearing a mask–fearful that they may scare people away if they show their true face. Some avoid any type of intimacy, and some cling to it desperately…

The manifestations run the gamut, but the way we heal these wounds is to give ourselves all the things we didn’t get as children…this is a process called reparenting, and it enables you to relearn how to meet the unmet needs of your inner child through daily, dedicated, and conscious action.”

Here are some ways to begin Inner Child/ Reparenting Work:
– Book an Inner Child Hypnotherapy Session
– Keep small promises to yourself each day
– Notice what causes you to be emotionally activated
– Listen to an Inner Child Hypnosis Recording
– Develop daily rituals and routines of self-care
– Say “no” to things that don’t serve you
– Witness your emotions without judgement
– Write a letter to your inner child and have her/him write back
– Do something you loved doing as a child
– Hold boundaries even if it’s uncomfortable to do so
– PLAY: sing out loud, dance around the room freely
– Do something unplanned, be impulsive and spontaneous
– Learn something new, without needing to be the best at it
– Cook yourself a home-cooked meal
– Spend time outside in nature
– Connect with someone you love
– Go to bed earlier
– Engage in fun activities that stimulate the positive child aspect
– Practice comfortable aloneness

BENEFITS OF INNER CHILD WORK
– Empowers you to re-parent yourself
– Encourages whole integration of self
– Allows forgiveness of self
– Creates an experience of self-love
– Softens resistance
– Strengthens early developmental stages that were corrupted or missed

It’s important to note:
Inner Child/Reparenting work can be emotionally triggering. This work can also unleash a great deal of anger, even rage, that you have towards your parent-figure(s). Many will desire that their pain be acknowledged, but LePera cautions, “It’s important to allow the anger in, be in it, and yes, communicate it if you choose–and it’s helpful to do so without expecting an outside party will validate your reality or experiences. The only person who can do this for you is you.”

It’s best to hold off on a confrontation until you feel “more tolerant of the uncertainty of the outcome,” meaning, you’re okay not getting an apology or having your feelings validated.

And, if you’re dealing with sexual abuse issues, I’d encourage you to do this work while working with a trained psychotherapist or support community, as this work may be too overwhelming to process alone.

To better serve you, I recently completed an additional hypnotherapy certification on “Healing the Inner Child: Hypnosis and Imagery.” I’m excited to bring these inner child techniques into my private sessions. If you feel called to start Inner Child Hypnotherapy work, click here.

Also, here’s a hypnosis recording I created called “Inner Child Meeting” to help you begin the process of reconnecting with your inner child. Listen below:

It’s normal to carry around pain from our childhoods. Keep in mind that the subconscious has no concept of time, so you may feel the pain of something that happened 30 or 40 years ago, as though it happened yesterday. LePera suggests that a quick and easy way to start meeting the needs of your inner child is by simply asking “What am I needing most right now?” Giving yourself exactly what you need moment to moment is a fantastic way to rebuild trust and love for yourself at any age.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

As a screenwriter, a hypnotherapist, an educator with a Master’s degree, and even as a mom, I’ve experienced intense moments of insecurity and self-doubt, commonly referred to as “imposter syndrome.” At these times, I’m inundated with thoughts like:

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“She’s better at this than me.”

“I’m going to fail at this; how embarrassing.”

“I need more training.”

“I’m not good enough.”

The psychological pattern Imposter Syndrome or Fraud Syndrome was first recognized by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in a 1978 research paper. It can be defined as “internally believing that you are not as competent and intelligent as others are…you fail to take credit for your success.”

Here are the range of symptoms Clance and Imes identified with imposter syndrome:

– Feeling inadequate
– Self-doubt
– Negative self-talk
– Sabotaging your own success
– Setting unrealistic goals and feeling like a failure when they can’t be achieved
– Anxiety
– Constantly comparing yourself to others
– Extreme lack of confidence
– Failure to trust your own intuition

Furthermore, in his article “Imposter Syndrome and Hypnotherapy Tools,” psychologist, NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist, William Horton describes personality types that can be prone to imposter syndrome:

The Perfectionist
These types are not satisfied with what they have done and they always feel that their work could be better. Instead of focusing on strengths, they stress over smaller mistakes. This constant tension can lead to depression and self-sabotage.

The Expert
These types are not satisfied with their ocean of knowledge, skills or certificates and always want to learn more and more. They pass up projects if they don’t feel they have 100% of the skills needed to complete that project successfully. This tension can lead to stagnant career advancement, as they always underrate their expertise.

The Natural Genius
These types, though naturally competent and skilled in a particular area, can often feel crushed if they face a difficult task and fail on the first try. This tension can lead to easily giving up, playing it too safe, or feeling humiliated and doubting/rejecting their inherent gifts/skills.

The Soloist
These types prefer to work alone and therefore refuse help from others, as they see this as a weakness. This tension can lead to overwhelm and poor performance, which can lead to self-sabotage.

The Superman/Superwoman
These types always push themselves to work as hard as they can. They often do a good job and need to succeed in all areas, but this tension can lead to unrealistic expectations, burnout, depression and self-sabotage.

Horton notes, “Imposter syndrome is related to other psychological disorders, including stress, depression and anxiety…the feelings experienced by a person who is suffering from imposter syndrome tend to go in a rhythm. The more the person achieves, the more they feel they don’t achieve, and they don’t deserve it.”

Many people at various points in their lives will be affected by Imposter syndrome. Horton identities “situations where people interact” as breeding grounds for Imposter syndrome; situations like a challenging work environment, a new or unfamiliar environment, a social platform in which new relationships are being formed, a family setting with high expectations, and any academic environment. Also, whenever we take on new role (become a parent, get a new position, move to a new town) we may be prone to feeling like a fraud and our feelings of inadequacy may be triggered.

Imposter syndrome is rooted in a lack of self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. To help you avoid feeling like an imposter or to shift those feelings once they start, I recommend taking one or more of these questions into your self-hypnosis sessions:

– Am I jumping to conclusions too quickly about this situation? Do I have any facts to back up these thoughts?

– Think of someone you love, if they were in this situation, how would you motivate and encourage them?

– What can I do to change my feelings about this?

– Is there another, positive way to see this situation?

– What do I gain by playing small? What do I gain by taking a risk?

– When was a time that you were enough, when you succeeded? How did that feel? How can you feel that way about this situation?

If you’d like more guidance on this, I’ve recently changed up the format for the monthly group hypnosis sessions. Instead of meeting for a live session once a month, I’ve decided to send out a hypnosis recording on the first of the month for the group to listen to throughout that month. We then have a pop-in, group meet at the end of each month to share our successes and ask questions. My goal is to provide you with a library of self-affirming and helpful hypnosis tracks to support you throughout your life. If you’d like to be added to the list to receive monthly, free hypnosis recordings, click here or comment to this post saying “add me to the list.”

This recording was aptly called “Confidence in Strengths and Talents.” To listen to the 10 minute recording, click below.

Remember, confidence is an inside job. For most of our lives, we’ve been conditioned to believe we’re not good enough, we don’t have enough expertise, we aren’t ready for that next step, and we’re going to fail if we stretch beyond our comfort zone–but all those thoughts are just our limiting beliefs…and we can change those and find the courage to move beyond them.

The truth is you are good enough. You are worthy of a beautiful life. There is no such thing as perfect. Everyone is still learning, no one has it all figured out. You know what you know, and you deserve to be seen and heard.

Don’t play small. Don’t hide from your well-deserved praise. Call out that imposter insecurity when it tries to show up, and let hypnosis get you back on track!

Happy editing,
Robin