Hey Friend!

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrases:

“What goes around, comes around.”
“Treat others how you’d like to be treated.”
“Judge not lest you be judged.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“The karma bus always arrives on time.”

Lately, I’ve been contemplating the spiritual idea/natural law of karma, trying to understand how best to navigate my life to create more balance, joy and peace.

In his phenomenal book, The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav, suggests, “When you choose wisely and responsibly while you are angry, judgmental, etc., you enter into the evolution of your soul consciously…Karma is not a moral dynamic. Morality is a human creation. The universe does not judge. The law of karma governs the balancing of energy within our system of morality and within those of our neighbors. It serves humanity as an impersonal and universal teacher of responsibility.”

For example, someone “that takes advantage of others creates an imbalance of energy that must be righted by the experience of being taken advantage by others.”

Looking at karma as energy that needs to be balanced, offers a clear way of understanding the idea that what we put out into the world comes back to us; Zukav writes, “the soul must balance its energy. It must experience the effects that it has caused.”

Therefore, every choice to be more compassionate, accepting or loving, provides the karmic exchange of positive energy. And, of course, every cruel, selfish and hateful choice provides the karmic exchange of negative energy that needs to be balanced.

Zukav offers 3 ways to become more consciously aware of your karmic exchanges:
1. Journal on these questions: How many times this last week did I feel angry, resentful, betrayed, superior, inferior, etc. and acted on that emotion? Have I ever said, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Write down examples. How many times have I felt hurt and wanted to hurt the person I felt was responsible? When something doesn’t go my way, do I look for the lesson or do I play the victim?

2. Implement a monthly Week of Kindness: Go out of your way to see how you can be friendly and kind to people that you encounter during the week. Extend this kindness to people you talk to on the phone, email, or write. Then notice how you feel and what effects you notice in your life.

3. Practice non-judgmental justice: When we judge, we create negative karma. Non-judgmental justice is a perception that allows you to see everything in life, but does not engage your negative emotions. Non-judgmental justice relieves you of the self-appointed job of judge and jury because you know that everything is being seen–nothing escapes the law of karma–and this brings forth understanding and compassion. So, practice seeing what you see and experiencing what you experience without responding negatively.

These exercises help us become more aware of our responses to life, and they remind us that everything we say and do carry consequences for ourselves and others.

To help you further, here’s a quick Hypnosis Recording on Karma and practicing non-judgmental perception. Grab your headphones and listen below:
Conscious of Karma

Every moment is an opportunity to consciously be more of the change we’d like to see in the world. A keen awareness of karma calls us to be more responsible and compassionate, for as Zukav writes, “when you understand that your experiences are karmic necessities, you are less likely to take them personally–to react with anger, righteous outrage, judgment, etc…creating fewer painful and more joyful experiences for yourself.”

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

Because most of the limiting beliefs and negative behavior patterns running in our subconscious minds stems from our childhood experiences (particularly with parent-figures), it makes sense that most people could benefit from Inner Child or Reparenting work.

In her book, How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole LePera writes, “most parent-figures never learned how to meet their own needs, let alone another person’s, passing on their own unresolved traumas and conditioned coping strategies. Even well intentioned parent-figures don’t always give us what serves us. Meeting all of someone’s varied and unique needs all the time is almost impossible. That said, if we lived with an emotionally immature parent-figure, our needs were likely routinely unmet or dismissed.”

Here are some common negative behavior patterns that indicate you may have a hurt Inner Child:
– Unexplained anger, outbursts, or aggression
– Wanting to control the behavior of loved ones
– Fear of abandonment
– Fear of rejection
– Fear of authority
– Feeling unworthy, not good enough
– Feeling like people don’t like you
– Problems with intimacy
– Not comfortable with challenges
– Addictions of all kinds
– Intimidated by sex
– Uncomfortable with love and affection
– “Acting out” sexually
– Hidden shame of self
– Lack of sexual involvement
– Not able to be authentic with true feelings
– Not able to hold lasting relationships
– Afraid to express needs
– Always need to be perfect
– Chooses abusive or emotionally absent partners

All children desire to be seen, heard and authentically expressed (essentially to be ourselves). When this is not supported or cultivated, those kids grow up to be adults that LePera says, “live from that protected place and familiar place of their ego (with all its stories) and often have an intense need to be ‘right,’ rejecting other people’s opinions and making others feel just as small and insignificant as they once did…

Others create avatars of themselves–always wearing a mask–fearful that they may scare people away if they show their true face. Some avoid any type of intimacy, and some cling to it desperately…

The manifestations run the gamut, but the way we heal these wounds is to give ourselves all the things we didn’t get as children…this is a process called reparenting, and it enables you to relearn how to meet the unmet needs of your inner child through daily, dedicated, and conscious action.”

Here are some ways to begin Inner Child/ Reparenting Work:
– Book an Inner Child Hypnotherapy Session
– Keep small promises to yourself each day
– Notice what causes you to be emotionally activated
– Listen to an Inner Child Hypnosis Recording
– Develop daily rituals and routines of self-care
– Say “no” to things that don’t serve you
– Witness your emotions without judgement
– Write a letter to your inner child and have her/him write back
– Do something you loved doing as a child
– Hold boundaries even if it’s uncomfortable to do so
– PLAY: sing out loud, dance around the room freely
– Do something unplanned, be impulsive and spontaneous
– Learn something new, without needing to be the best at it
– Cook yourself a home-cooked meal
– Spend time outside in nature
– Connect with someone you love
– Go to bed earlier
– Engage in fun activities that stimulate the positive child aspect
– Practice comfortable aloneness

BENEFITS OF INNER CHILD WORK
– Empowers you to re-parent yourself
– Encourages whole integration of self
– Allows forgiveness of self
– Creates an experience of self-love
– Softens resistance
– Strengthens early developmental stages that were corrupted or missed

It’s important to note:
Inner Child/Reparenting work can be emotionally triggering. This work can also unleash a great deal of anger, even rage, that you have towards your parent-figure(s). Many will desire that their pain be acknowledged, but LePera cautions, “It’s important to allow the anger in, be in it, and yes, communicate it if you choose–and it’s helpful to do so without expecting an outside party will validate your reality or experiences. The only person who can do this for you is you.”

It’s best to hold off on a confrontation until you feel “more tolerant of the uncertainty of the outcome,” meaning, you’re okay not getting an apology or having your feelings validated.

And, if you’re dealing with sexual abuse issues, I’d encourage you to do this work while working with a trained psychotherapist or support community, as this work may be too overwhelming to process alone.

To better serve you, I recently completed an additional hypnotherapy certification on “Healing the Inner Child: Hypnosis and Imagery.” I’m excited to bring these inner child techniques into my private sessions. If you feel called to start Inner Child Hypnotherapy work, click here.

Also, here’s a hypnosis recording I created called “Inner Child Meeting” to help you begin the process of reconnecting with your inner child. Listen below:

It’s normal to carry around pain from our childhoods. Keep in mind that the subconscious has no concept of time, so you may feel the pain of something that happened 30 or 40 years ago, as though it happened yesterday. LePera suggests that a quick and easy way to start meeting the needs of your inner child is by simply asking “What am I needing most right now?” Giving yourself exactly what you need moment to moment is a fantastic way to rebuild trust and love for yourself at any age.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I’m currently experiencing a lull in business productivity. I haven’t been on social media much over the past few weeks, and I haven’t been creating much content.

Instead, I’ve been reading books, visiting with friends, going on day-dates with my husband, and taking long walks. I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard at times to enjoy this downtime, I often feel the sharp pangs of urgency, restlessness, and guilt that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

This isn’t surprising to me. We live in a society that sees productivity, as a measurement of worth, success and goodness.

But, is being unproductive really even possible? I mean, after all, we are always doing something. Even sitting down doing nothing is doing something, right? So, why is that labeled good or bad/right or wrong? And, really, isn’t a person’s doing ultimately a personal thing, unique to each of us?

It’s up to each of us to decide then, whether binge watching TV on the couch is a restorative act of self-love or an act of self-sabotage.

Consider also, who’s voice is in your head when you are taking some downtime? According to whose rules or standards are you judging the success of your life? Are your actions derived from a place of rejuvenation, joy, alignment and growth or are your actions a form of avoidance, keeping you from the life you desire? How do you know for sure?

Marlee Grace’s book, Getting to Center, offers relatable and easy to follow advice for incorporating ease and aligned work into your life. Here are two of her valuable insights:

NOTICE HOW “DISTRACTIONS” SHOW UP
While Grace’s book will never shame anyone for watching mindless or “trashy” TV, as she recognizes that “distractions often serve to protect our overworked minds,” she does argue that, “we must stay committed to the daily maintenance of our lives off the screen to share our findings at a slow and non-urgent pace…to stay in rather than drop out.”

In order to determine whether your action is actually avoidance, ask your self these questions:

-Is there some big other commitment to self I said I would do today that I am avoiding?

-Am I using this distraction because I don’t want to face myself?

-Is this distraction a pivot moment where I get to relax and find pleasure before returning to my work?

Depending on the answer, the “distraction” might actually be a nourishing time for you to recharge or an opportunity for you to overcome the distraction (instead of reaching for your phone to scroll social media, call a friend, go for a walk outside or do some journaling instead to break the cycle of avoidance).

TAKE THE GUILT OUT OF GUILTY PLEASURES
Consider giving yourself full permission to just experience pleasure. Grace writes, “Rejuvenation for me is just about paying attention to my own rhythms, bodily and mentally. When I am going too fast or too slow. Listening to my body and mind in terms of what it needs…to rejuvenate is to say what is and to say what isn’t and to not hate myself on the journey of finding it all out.”

Here are some ways to rejuvenate:
-Sauna
-Bath
-Go be alone somewhere
-Take a trip and not work for 3 days
-Go be with other people somewhere
-Pray (follow Anne Lamott’s 3 prayer ideas from Help, Thanks, Wow, pray to ask for help, be grateful or be in awe)
-Go outside
-Be intimate with a partner or yourself
-Create art
-Do nothing

Getting to Center isn’t anti-productivity, but it’s a way to consciously manage work and ease into our lives without guilt or shame. Instead of telling people to find balance, Grace prefers to say get “back on the beam.” She writes, “We will always get knocked off, and we may get knocked off when we least expect it. You might picture the beam where gymnasts do amazing tricks. They flip and spin through the air, and then, with a mix of luck and skill, they stick the landing in their sparkly leotards and throw their hands up…I’ve built tools into my life to help me get back on the beam faster…And if we don’t stick the landing and instead break both ankles and crumple into a ball, we’re going to figure out how the hell to start over again.”

I’ve been focusing my self-hypnosis practice on extricating my worth from my doing and focusing on what makes me feel calm and most alive. I’m going to make this the focus of our upcoming Group Hypnosis recordings. If you’d like to be added to the list to receive this and any additional free monthly hypnosis recordings, click here or comment below saying “add me to the list.”

I hope you find the tools to help you honor your cycles of productivity, combat shame or anxiety when you need rest, and bust through avoidance to face what needs facing. And, through any ups and downs, may you “get back on the beam” stronger and more energized than ever!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

As the weather warms up and we find ourselves venturing out more and more into the world, I’ve noticed an increase in advertisements for fad diets and calls back to gyms so we don’t miss out on our Hot Girl Summer. In other words, “Diet Culture” is back in full swing.

Our society is OBSESSED with weight, and, not surprisingly, the diet and weight-loss companies have become a $71 Billion dollar industry. There is money to be made from you hating your body and forking over your money for the products and services that are guaranteed to “fix” you.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been hyper-aware of my weight and body image since I was a teenager. Growing up in the 90’s, the ideal “it” body was one described as “heroin chic,” a super skinny, bony,  and pale body. But now, I’m at a point in my life where I just want to be free from what poet, activist and transformational leader, Sonya Renee Taylor, describes as “body terrorism.” I’m ready to try another way.

In Taylor’s book, The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-love, she offers these questions to help you uncover some hidden or not so hidden beliefs about bodies:
– Do I believe it’s okay to be bigger, just not too big? How do you define “too big”?
– Do I make assumptions about people’s health based on their weight?
– Do I believe that healthier bodies are better bodies?
– Do I use the word fat pejoratively to describe myself and others (including internal dialogue)?
– Do I believe that being fat is fine for others, just not for me?
– Do I believe fat people could lose weight if they just tried hard enough?
– Am I afraid of becoming fat?
– Do I dislike my own fat?

Taylor continues, “If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have some internalized fatphobia to work on. Here’s the good news…of course you do! It would be a feat of supernatural proportions for you to grow up in a fatphobic society and not have internalized fatphobic ideas.”

Taylor argues that the only way to defeat diet culture is to practice radical self-love for our bodies. To help combat hurtful ideas and beliefs about bodies, Taylor suggests a few important changes:

Make Fat Familiar
“Become familiar with the lives and experiences of fat people. Are your bookshelves lacking fat protagonists…Who are the fat heroes or heroines on your television…are they empowered or do they spend their lives chasing thinness…how about your social media feed…You are better positioned to challenge fat bias and weight stigma when you have proximity to the lives of fat people.”

Actively Disrupt Fatphobia and Weight Stigma
“Intuituve Eating and Health at Every Size (HAES) are two alternative models for moving us away from diet culture and toward providing your body the nourishment and care that are best for you.

Know Your Body Shame Origin Story
To root out shame, we have to know where it resides in our minds. I’ve adapted an exercise from her book into a healing self-hypnosis session:

Get into a deeply relaxed state and then “recall your first memory of body shame; it’s likely that your story would have at least one of the following:
-Developed in your youth*
-Was a response to rapid or unexpected body change*
-Occurred when you became aware of difference*
-Led you to assume there was some “should” about your body*
-Was reflected or enforced by familial, social, cultural, and political messaging and systems of body-based oppression*
-Was attached to a story or belief about your value and worth in the world”*

Once you’ve identified the story, hold onto the memory and the feelings that come up and give yourself some healing. There are a variety of ways to do this; you can comfort Little You in that memory (give her a hug, explain why she didn’t deserve that, etc.), you can confront the bully/offending person(s) on Little You’s behalf, you can flood the memory with forgiveness and compassion until the memory loses its emotional charge, or you can let the past memory go and visualize yourself being joyful, having fun and looking great exactly as you are now (this helps build feelings and beliefs of worthiness). Remember that the self-hypnosis session is happening in your mind, a place of endless possibilities, so give yourself a healing in whatever way feels right for you. Repeat this exercise often. See what daily actions you can take to feel happier and more loving towards your body. You can also listen to these guided self-hypnosis recordings from our Group Hypnosis sessions on Body Confidence and Forgiveness and Letting Go.

Remember, YOU have the power radically love yourself exactly as you are. You deserve health and vitality, and true health comes in a variety of different shapes and sizes. There is not one way to look or be. By creating new neural pathways of thoughts and beliefs that reinforce your worth and value at any and every size, you break free from the pain, shame and “shoulds.”  Wishing you lots of joy and love in your amazing and powerful body!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

As a screenwriter, a hypnotherapist, an educator with a Master’s degree, and even as a mom, I’ve experienced intense moments of insecurity and self-doubt, commonly referred to as “imposter syndrome.” At these times, I’m inundated with thoughts like:

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“She’s better at this than me.”

“I’m going to fail at this; how embarrassing.”

“I need more training.”

“I’m not good enough.”

The psychological pattern Imposter Syndrome or Fraud Syndrome was first recognized by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in a 1978 research paper. It can be defined as “internally believing that you are not as competent and intelligent as others are…you fail to take credit for your success.”

Here are the range of symptoms Clance and Imes identified with imposter syndrome:

– Feeling inadequate
– Self-doubt
– Negative self-talk
– Sabotaging your own success
– Setting unrealistic goals and feeling like a failure when they can’t be achieved
– Anxiety
– Constantly comparing yourself to others
– Extreme lack of confidence
– Failure to trust your own intuition

Furthermore, in his article “Imposter Syndrome and Hypnotherapy Tools,” psychologist, NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist, William Horton describes personality types that can be prone to imposter syndrome:

The Perfectionist
These types are not satisfied with what they have done and they always feel that their work could be better. Instead of focusing on strengths, they stress over smaller mistakes. This constant tension can lead to depression and self-sabotage.

The Expert
These types are not satisfied with their ocean of knowledge, skills or certificates and always want to learn more and more. They pass up projects if they don’t feel they have 100% of the skills needed to complete that project successfully. This tension can lead to stagnant career advancement, as they always underrate their expertise.

The Natural Genius
These types, though naturally competent and skilled in a particular area, can often feel crushed if they face a difficult task and fail on the first try. This tension can lead to easily giving up, playing it too safe, or feeling humiliated and doubting/rejecting their inherent gifts/skills.

The Soloist
These types prefer to work alone and therefore refuse help from others, as they see this as a weakness. This tension can lead to overwhelm and poor performance, which can lead to self-sabotage.

The Superman/Superwoman
These types always push themselves to work as hard as they can. They often do a good job and need to succeed in all areas, but this tension can lead to unrealistic expectations, burnout, depression and self-sabotage.

Horton notes, “Imposter syndrome is related to other psychological disorders, including stress, depression and anxiety…the feelings experienced by a person who is suffering from imposter syndrome tend to go in a rhythm. The more the person achieves, the more they feel they don’t achieve, and they don’t deserve it.”

Many people at various points in their lives will be affected by Imposter syndrome. Horton identities “situations where people interact” as breeding grounds for Imposter syndrome; situations like a challenging work environment, a new or unfamiliar environment, a social platform in which new relationships are being formed, a family setting with high expectations, and any academic environment. Also, whenever we take on new role (become a parent, get a new position, move to a new town) we may be prone to feeling like a fraud and our feelings of inadequacy may be triggered.

Imposter syndrome is rooted in a lack of self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. To help you avoid feeling like an imposter or to shift those feelings once they start, I recommend taking one or more of these questions into your self-hypnosis sessions:

– Am I jumping to conclusions too quickly about this situation? Do I have any facts to back up these thoughts?

– Think of someone you love, if they were in this situation, how would you motivate and encourage them?

– What can I do to change my feelings about this?

– Is there another, positive way to see this situation?

– What do I gain by playing small? What do I gain by taking a risk?

– When was a time that you were enough, when you succeeded? How did that feel? How can you feel that way about this situation?

If you’d like more guidance on this, I’ve recently changed up the format for the monthly group hypnosis sessions. Instead of meeting for a live session once a month, I’ve decided to send out a hypnosis recording on the first of the month for the group to listen to throughout that month. We then have a pop-in, group meet at the end of each month to share our successes and ask questions. My goal is to provide you with a library of self-affirming and helpful hypnosis tracks to support you throughout your life. If you’d like to be added to the list to receive monthly, free hypnosis recordings, click here or comment to this post saying “add me to the list.”

This recording was aptly called “Confidence in Strengths and Talents.” To listen to the 10 minute recording, click below.

Remember, confidence is an inside job. For most of our lives, we’ve been conditioned to believe we’re not good enough, we don’t have enough expertise, we aren’t ready for that next step, and we’re going to fail if we stretch beyond our comfort zone–but all those thoughts are just our limiting beliefs…and we can change those and find the courage to move beyond them.

The truth is you are good enough. You are worthy of a beautiful life. There is no such thing as perfect. Everyone is still learning, no one has it all figured out. You know what you know, and you deserve to be seen and heard.

Don’t play small. Don’t hide from your well-deserved praise. Call out that imposter insecurity when it tries to show up, and let hypnosis get you back on track!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I talk a lot with clients and friends about busyness and burnout, because they tend to go hand in hand. And, I’ve found that because, culturally, we tend to judge a person’s success and value based on what they “do,” it goes without saying that we overbook and overexert ourselves in a mad rush to constantly try to measure up, to be good enough, and to be worthy.

Best-selling author of Do Less, Kate Northrup, writes, “It’s recently come to my attention that I have a habit of, or perhaps even an addiction to, proving my worth through constant activity…

How many meaningful conversations in the car with my husband have I not had because I was checking my email for the twentieth time that day?…

How many breaths have become shallow from being caught in the spin of constant activity?…

How many precious moments of stillness have I missed because I feared what might come up during the pause?”

Northrup offers the following list as signs you might be addicted to busyness:
– As much as you crave white space on your calendar it also gives you anxiety.

– You notice yourself checking your phone obsessively throughout the day, particularly when you are tired, overwhelmed, or anxious.

– More than once, a close friend or family member has said something about your compulsion to engage with your phone or computer and how it affects your relationship.

– When someone suggests that you relax and do nothing, you say to yourself or out loud, “What the heck does that even mean? What do people do when they do nothing?”

– When you do find yourself doing nothing, you feel guilty that you aren’t being productive.

– You mentally tally the number of productive hours you’ve had at the end of the day and judge how you feel about yourself by how full your day was.

– You find yourself “complaining” about how busy you are while simultaneously feeling proud of having so much on your plate that you can barely breathe.

– You say that you’re too busy to meditate, move your body, nap, hang out with your girlfriends, make love, prepare healthy food for yourself, or go on dates (with yourself, your spouse, or new people).

In our busyness, we’ve subconsciously created behavior patterns and habits that make our busyness feel “normal,” while making downtime and rest feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar–hence, we resist it. Only by creating new habits and behavior patterns can we break free from the pull and overwhelm of busyness.

5 New Habits/Practices to Help You Slow Down, Use Your Time Effectively and Feel More in Control of Your Day
1. Schedule at least one engaging and fun activity that you can do every single day. Put it on your To Do list and treat it as a priority. This way, attending to your needs and desires, no matter how small, becomes part of your daily routine. Also, this communicates to your subconscious that your needs/wants/desires matter. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: I make space for what matters most.

2. Don’t over-commitment to social engagements. Time with friends and family is important, but when you spread yourself too thin, these engagements begin to feel taxing and draining. Learning to say no, without guilt or shame, will help to create healthy boundaries for restoration and downtime, keeping your social events about connection rather than obligation and/or resentment. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: I am at my best when I am rested and recharged. It is safe for me to take a break.

3. Create more space in your day by learning to work more efficiently. Perhaps, you can batch calls and meetings so that you’re not switching gears all day long or you can make tasks easier to complete by getting a handle on your perfectionism. Brené Brown recently posted this quote, “Perfectionism, the 20-ton shield we lug around hoping it protects us from experiencing judgement, shame and blame, when all it really does is keep us from being seen, and it’s heavy AF.” It’s important that we know our limits and allow ourselves to complete and let go. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: Being is just as valuable as doing. Downtime is valuable time.

4. Wake up naturally on your own, without an alarm, as often as possible. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: My creativity is fueled by rest.

5. Start or end the day with a 10 minute hypnosis recording:

Along with helping to reprogram your subconscious mind, this practice will also help manage stress and deepen your breathing. It’s important to our health (mind, body and soul) to quiet our mind. A hypnosis practice will keep you grounded, relaxed and motivated. Consider this hypno-affirmation for your practice: Doing less allows me to have more of what matters in my life.

I hope you find the time to practice doing less of what overwhelms you and more of what brings you joy, presence, connection and peace. Remember, working with the subconscious will help you stay aligned with what really matters to you in your life–helping you stay more aware of patterns that deplete your energy.

Change takes time, but showing up as your most aligned and rejuvenated self deserves a spot on your calendar!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I don’t know about you, but time seems to be flying by these days. Summer is upon us, and now is a great time to regroup, reassess and realign. I’d invite you to journal on or ponder these questions:

– What goals did I set for myself back in January?
– Did I accomplish or am I close to accomplishing my goals?
– If not, what resistance is coming up, and what is that resistance telling me?
– Am I still in love with my goals? Do I need to pivot?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my “goal-setting process” is that I often get really attached to the outcome; I feel “pressure” in my body and myriad negative feelings when things don’t go the way I wanted.

In his book, Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender, David Hawkins, MD, PhD, exposes how harmful those attachments can be to us and how that pressure and those negative feelings thrust us into a vicious cycle of Suppression, Expression and Escape:

Suppression – “The feelings that we select to be suppressed or repressed are in accord with the conscious and unconscious programs that we carry within us from social custom and family training. The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tension in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies and other somatic conditions.”

Expression – “The expression of negative feelings allows just enough of the inner pressure to be let out so that the remainder can be suppressed…[but what really needs to happen is] the repressed impulse or feeling [has] to be neutralized, sublimated, socialized and channeled into constructive drives of love, work and creativity.”

Escape – “Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. We can avoid our own inner selves and keep our feelings from emerging by an endless variety of pursuits, many of which eventually become addictions as our dependency upon them grows. Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressures of suppressed and repressed feelings.”

When we feel pressure and the negative feelings that come with it, we need to get it out, neutralize it and let it go. So, how do we keep from suppressing our feelings? How do we let go?

Hawkins asserts, “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it any different or do anything about it. It means simply to let that feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.”

“The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling…Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. ‘It is resistance that keeps the feeling going’…a feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates.

His book encourages us to live in a surrendered state, “free of negative feelings in a given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without opposition or the interference of inner conflicts…it allows us to experience the basic nature of the universe, which, it will be discovered, is to manifest the greatest good possible in a situation.”

Lately, I’ve been practicing letting go and surrendering outcomes. I’ve been using it in my hypnosis practice, and it’s been helping abate that “pressure” feeling. Here’s something that you can try during your next self-hypnosis session:

– Focus on an area of the body that feels tense or focus on a negative feeling that’s coming up.

– Get curious about the tension or the feeling.

– Ask it questions, like where did you come from, what are you protecting me from (remember, the subconscious is always trying to keep you safe, even if it’s actually harmful to you)?

– Really feel the emotion or pressure.

– Visualize it dissipating. Break it up with bright healing light, light it on fire and watch it burn to nothing, blow it up with a glitter bomb, pour some “love peroxide” all over it and hear it fizz into nothingness.

– Then feel the weight of the pressure and feelings lessen, feel the lightness, the freedom, the happiness, the peace that fills that space now. Sit with that peace and that lightness for as long as you want, and then open your eyes.

Keep in mind that you may experience some resistance to letting go. No worries, Hawkins reminds us that it’s normal and usually a sign of a limiting belief in the subconscious. Have you heard any of these sayings before:

– “We only deserve things through hard work, struggle, sacrifice and effort.”
– “Suffering is beneficial and good for us.”
– “We don’t get anything for nothing.”
– “Things that are very simple or easy aren’t worth much.”

To help you break up these limiting beliefs, it helps to focus on your deservingness and enough-ness. Perhaps your Hypno-affirmation for the month can be:
-I am worthy of a beautiful life.

-I deserve to feel good in my body

-I am in control of my reactions, I am resilient

-I easily and effortlessly feel my feelings and let them go—my feelings do not control me

-I let go of the outcome and focus on doing my best each day

-I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life and I am open to receiving more

Let’s start the summer right, by letting go of the pressure we put on ourselves and of the negative feelings we’ve “Suppressed-then Expressed (but not neutralized)-then Escaped.” Sure, goals are great motivators, but it’s real easy to get attached to those future outcomes and, in turn, miss the other possibilities all around you.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

Did you know that 95% of your thoughts are repetitive? And, of the 60,000-80,000 thoughts that we think per day, 80% of them are negative and focused on our shortcomings.

If our thoughts are negative, two things tend to happen:
1) we focus only on the negative thought to the exclusion of everything else
2) negative thoughts have harmful effects on our bodies; negative thought patterns cause our breath to quicken, forcing the body into “fight or flight mode” and causing the secretion of cortisol to mobilize the body for action. Chronically increased cortisol levels wreak havoc on our mind and bodies.

Therefore, it’s imperative to be aware and in better control of your thoughts. In her article, “Personal Strategies to Reframe Your Negative Thinking,” psychologist Norma Lent Auerbach offers a list of the most common negative thoughts. Scroll down the list and see which negative thoughts might resonate with you:

-I’m a failure.
-I’m not pretty.
-I’m not handsome.
-I’m so dumb.
-I never have enough money.
-I can’t do that.
-I’m damaged.
-I’ll never be a success.
-I missed my chance.
-No one likes me.
-What if I fail?
-I’m so fat.
-I’m ugly.
-I’m not good enough.
-I’m not talented enough.
-I don’t know what to do.
-Nothing ever works out for me.
-I’m destined to be single.
-What if I get hurt?
-I’ll never get it.
-I’m such a loser.
-I can’t do anything right.
-I don’t deserve that.
-I’m not worth it.
-Something’s wrong with me.
-It has to be perfect.
-It’s too late for me.
-I’m so unhappy.
-I’m too picky.
-Life is hard.
-I can’t forgive myself.
-They won’t like me.
-I suck at this.
-I hate dating.
-I’m too shy.
-People will laugh at me.
-I’ll never be able to do this.

It’s CRAZY that we think some of these negative thoughts on loop over and over again every. single. day. Think about how much these thoughts might be holding you back, stuck in limiting-beliefs. Yikes!

Luckily, due to neuroplasticity, the brain has the capacity to change its structure. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS! In her article, Auerbach offers these tips:

Be Aware of Your Thoughts
Keep a notepad handy and write down any negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day. You’ll begin to see your patterns. This knowledge is so useful, as you can now start the process of reframing your thoughts.

Say CANCEL CANCEL or DELETE DELETE
While it takes time to change thought patterns internally, “you can start to immediately shift your perspective. Once you hear yourself repeat a negative comment, say out loud ”cancel, cancel” [or “delete, delete”] to alert your subconscious mind to disregard that thought.”

Change Negative Words/Phrases into Positive Ones
Replace the words that work against you, like instead of saying “I hate ______ ” say “I prefer ______”. And, replace global words like “always” and “never” with a statement like “I’m open to that experience” or “I’ll do it next time.” Same goes with how you phrase sentences: “I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m worthy of love;” “I’m broken” becomes “I’m healing;” “I’m so stupid” becomes “everyone makes mistakes;” “I can’t do this” becomes “I’ll figure it out; It will be okay.”

And, if you find yourself strongly attached to a negative thought (resistance is totally normal, you’ve been thinking some of these thoughts for decades), ask yourself, “What is the evidence for this?” and “Is this always true?” Slowly, but surely, you will start to break down this negative belief and see that it’s actually not the truth.

Keep a Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal helps you to deliberately focus on positive thoughts and feelings, moving you out of a lack and limited mindset into an abundant, positive mindset. You get more of what you focus on and this is a tool to keep you grounded and open to possibilities.

One of the BEST ways to break negative thought patterns is to change them at the subconscious level, where they live. A daily hypnosis practice will help you feed your new, reframed thought(s) to the inner mind when it is most suggestible. To help you accomplish this, here is a quick 10 Minute self-hypnosis recording:

Positive thought patterns will not make your life perfect and free of any pain or hardship, but they will empower you to take action in the areas of your life that you can control and to be resilient in the areas that lie outside of your control. Negative thoughts close you down to opportunities and possibilities, while positive thoughts open you up. May you live your life to the full!

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I don’t know about you, but I have mixed feelings about social media. As a business owner, sure, it’s a great way for people who don’t know me to learn more about me and my work. And, personally, I love finding cool artists, yoga instructors, activists, vegan chefs and other wellness practitioners through social media.

But there is also a real shallowness to social media and when I consume too much of it, I begin to feel insecure (compare and despair) and guilty for wasting so much time. It’s for those reasons that I purposely limit my time on the platforms.

Jeff Orlowski’s Netflix documentary,The Social Dilemma, exposed the horrifying reality that WE ARE THE PRODUCT the SM companies are selling; our attention, privacy and activity is being tracked, targeted and sold at profit margins never before seen in the history of commerce.

And now, there is a new trend by tech and social media companies to throw around terms like “ethical persuasion.” It’s like a PR campaign designed to mitigate their role in using people’s precious time for profit. In her book, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, artist, writer and educator at Stanford University, Jenny Odell, explains that companies are now working on ways to “make persuasion more ethical…using ‘harmonious designs that continuously empower us instead of distracting and frustrating us.’” She goes on to argue, “I can’t help but ask: Empower me to do what? Good for me according to whom? And According to what standards? The idea that I’ve already lost the battle of attention doesn’t sit right with me, [I’m more] interested in gaining control of my attention rather than simply having it directed in ways that are deemed better for me.”

The more we give away our attention, the more we are pulled away from the people in our communities, from our own independent thoughts, and from our own intrinsic interests. Technology ethicist James Williams warns that the attention economy, “undermines our capacities for reflection and self-regulation, making it harder, in the words of Harry Frankfurt, to ‘want what we want to want.’ Thus there are deep ethical implications lurking here for freedom, wellbeing, and even the integrity of the self.”

In 1997, theoretical physicist [Micheal Goldhaber](https://econreview.berkeley.edu/paying-attention-the-attention-economy/e) asserted that information is not scarce, attention is. At the end of her book, Odell says, “Sometimes boycotting the attention economy by withholding attention is the only action we can take. Other times, we can actively look for ways to impact things like the addictive design of technology, but also environmental politics, labor rights, women’s rights, indigenous rights, anti-racism initiatives, measures for parks and open spaces, and habitat restoration–understanding that pain comes not from one part of the body but from systemic imbalance.” Odell reminds us that limiting our screen time also allows us to make a bigger impact in the world and especially on the people in our community.

As an advocate for and lover of hypnosis, I use my daily hypnosis practice to bring me back to the present moment, where I can control my actions and behaviors. My practice allows me to listen to my breath, feel aware of my emotions, and connect back to this time and this place. From there, it’s easier to resist the temptation of reaching for my phone out of habit.

Here are 5 additional tips I’m trying to refocus my attention and start cultivating greater attention and presence:

1. Stop using my phone in bed. My phone charger is on my bedside table, so it’s convenient for me to lie in bed reading articles, checking SM and perusing the internet. But, I’ve decided to move the charger into the kitchen, starting today!

2. Allow myself to DO NOTHING. I get anxious sometimes, thinking that I have to constantly be working or producing to be successful, but I’m working on that limiting belief…and instead reinforcing the new belief that I am inherently worthy.

3. Go out into nature EVERY DAY and pay attention to what I see, feel and experience. I sometimes walk my dog outside, while staring at my phone! Now, I will practice taking deep breaths, observing the plants and animals around me, and smiling or greeting anyone who walks past me.

4. Set and enforce a new rule: no phones at the dinner table!

5. Make art and play. I’m going to carve out time in my day to play. Today, I will paint and tomorrow, I will practice playing Taylor Swift’s “Cardigan” on the piano.

6. Post and engage intentionally on SM. Because I know that scrolling through social media can put me in a hypnotic trance, I’m very careful to stay mindful of how I feel and what catches my attention. If it feels icky, I sign off and take a break. Likewise, I only post things that I think will inspire or benefit people’s lives.

7. Turn off notification badges on all social media and set screen time limits through my Screen Time app.

I hope this information was useful and worthy of your attention. I feel like most of us are dealing with negative habits and addictions around our phones and, in particular, social media. I don’t know how practical it is to outright quit all social media. I’m not going that far (yet); I think we all have to decide what balances and benefits our lives.

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

For most of us, our beliefs about money come from our parents and our childhood experiences around wealth. As children, we soaked up and stored all that information in our subconscious minds, and that formed the foundation of our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about money. Do any of these phrases sound familiar?

“Money doesn’t grow on trees”
“Money is the root of all evil”
“Money can’t buy happiness”
“Health is better than wealth”
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”
“All that glitters is not gold”
“More money, more problems”
“A day late and a dollar short”

We encounter a lot of mixed messages about money, yet we can’t survive without it. So, it behooves us to learn our money story and get to the root of our limiting beliefs, because it turns out that money and happiness are linked.

In their book, NeuroWisdom: The New Brain Science of Money, Happiness and Success, Mark Robert Waldman and Chris Manning PhD discuss how in 1974, a distinguished professor of economics at USC, Richard Easterlin, asserted that there wasn’t a strong correlation between happiness and wealth, but he was wrong. Many studies have found the opposite:

– The National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, looking at 40 years of worldwide statistics between 1974 and 2010 found that of the people earning $150,000+ only 2% were dissatisfied with their lives, and of the people earning $500,000 or more 0% were dissatisfied with their lives (100% were very happy).

– The Wharton School of Business in 2012 found no satiation point, meaning the more money one made the more happiness they experienced.

– Michael Finke at Texas Tech University found that retirees that saved over $2 million in non-housing wealth were some of the happiest people in the world.
– Cornell University professor Robert Frank found that increased yearly income is the most significant way to increase happiness.

– According to the World Happiness Report, done by the United Nations in 2015, the six most important determinants of happiness are (in order):

1. Spending power (economic capital)

2. Friends, family and community support (social capital)

3. Healthy life expectancy

4. Freedom to make decisions

5. Financial generosity to others

6. Absence of corruption in business and government

– The report also found that “well-being” was another essential quality of a happier life (well-being defined as a life filled with enjoyment and safety, without the constant burdens of anger, worry, stress, depression and pain).

The authors assert that “happiness is a momentary experience, regulated by some of the oldest structures of your brain, and every organism is neurologically programmed to seek pleasurable experiences because it increases the chances of survival…But happiness is not just about seeking momentary pleasure or putting dollars into your purse. It’s also shaped by how you choose to make those dollars and how you choose to spend them. In other words, the pleasure you get by engaging in the activity of making and spending money through work and social activities is the secret to neurological satisfaction and worldly success.”

You may be thinking, but what about GREED and the Scrooge McDuck’s of the world! They can’t be the happiest! The authors acknowledge that “there is a dark side to money. Research also shows that the more wealth you have the more it strengths narcissism and feelings of entitlement…and when people become obsessed with money their relationships deteriorate…increased material wealth causes people to become more selfish and insensitive towards others…however, when wealthy individuals engage in values-based exercises that increase self-awareness and social awareness, their egotism diminishes. These are the people that are often recognized as great leaders.”

They go on to say that, “making money increases happiness, but the way you spend it predicts long-term satisfaction…if you make experiential purchases (vacations, cultural events, etc.) you’ll be happier than if you spend it on material objects…the more you spend money on shared experiences with others, the happier you’ll be…the more people focused on materialistic wealth, the more dissatisfied they felt with their lives.”

Their book is full of exercises to help your brain cultivate more wealth and happiness, and I wanted to share with you all an exercise from the book that you can easily take through a self-hypnosis session. Use this exercise as a way to gain clarity on how you might ideally like to make money and how you’d like to consciously spend it.

EXERCISE:

Get into a deeply relaxed state and then “pay attention to the thoughts and images that come to mind as you ponder this question:

What would you do if you were the wealthiest person in the world?

Think about all the things you could do with that money, and all the people you could help. Visualize the changes you could make in your life and how you could improve the lives of the people around you. Notice how these thoughts make you feel.”

Repeat this exercise often and see what consistently comes up for you. The subconscious mind is full of creative ideas and possibilities. See what daily actions you can take to feel happier and more financially secure in your life. I’m not being dismissive about the myriad societal inequalities and impediments to wealth that many in our society face, but instead offering an idea that if the collective can create a self-aware and socially aware money story–then we can make the world better for everyone. Remember, YOU have the power to change your money story, by creating new neural pathways of thoughts and beliefs that best serve your life. Your brain is already hardwired to seek out the pleasure and satisfaction that wealth brings. So, align with that truth, and make it RAIN!

Happy editing,
Robin