Hey Friend!

I don’t know about you, but time seems to be flying by these days. Summer is upon us, and now is a great time to regroup, reassess and realign. I’d invite you to journal on or ponder these questions:

– What goals did I set for myself back in January?
– Did I accomplish or am I close to accomplishing my goals?
– If not, what resistance is coming up, and what is that resistance telling me?
– Am I still in love with my goals? Do I need to pivot?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my “goal-setting process” is that I often get really attached to the outcome; I feel “pressure” in my body and myriad negative feelings when things don’t go the way I wanted.

In his book, Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender, David Hawkins, MD, PhD, exposes how harmful those attachments can be to us and how that pressure and those negative feelings thrust us into a vicious cycle of Suppression, Expression and Escape:

Suppression – “The feelings that we select to be suppressed or repressed are in accord with the conscious and unconscious programs that we carry within us from social custom and family training. The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tension in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies and other somatic conditions.”

Expression – “The expression of negative feelings allows just enough of the inner pressure to be let out so that the remainder can be suppressed…[but what really needs to happen is] the repressed impulse or feeling [has] to be neutralized, sublimated, socialized and channeled into constructive drives of love, work and creativity.”

Escape – “Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. We can avoid our own inner selves and keep our feelings from emerging by an endless variety of pursuits, many of which eventually become addictions as our dependency upon them grows. Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressures of suppressed and repressed feelings.”

When we feel pressure and the negative feelings that come with it, we need to get it out, neutralize it and let it go. So, how do we keep from suppressing our feelings? How do we let go?

Hawkins asserts, “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it any different or do anything about it. It means simply to let that feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.”

“The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling…Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. ‘It is resistance that keeps the feeling going’…a feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates.

His book encourages us to live in a surrendered state, “free of negative feelings in a given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without opposition or the interference of inner conflicts…it allows us to experience the basic nature of the universe, which, it will be discovered, is to manifest the greatest good possible in a situation.”

Lately, I’ve been practicing letting go and surrendering outcomes. I’ve been using it in my hypnosis practice, and it’s been helping abate that “pressure” feeling. Here’s something that you can try during your next self-hypnosis session:

– Focus on an area of the body that feels tense or focus on a negative feeling that’s coming up.

– Get curious about the tension or the feeling.

– Ask it questions, like where did you come from, what are you protecting me from (remember, the subconscious is always trying to keep you safe, even if it’s actually harmful to you)?

– Really feel the emotion or pressure.

– Visualize it dissipating. Break it up with bright healing light, light it on fire and watch it burn to nothing, blow it up with a glitter bomb, pour some “love peroxide” all over it and hear it fizz into nothingness.

– Then feel the weight of the pressure and feelings lessen, feel the lightness, the freedom, the happiness, the peace that fills that space now. Sit with that peace and that lightness for as long as you want, and then open your eyes.

Keep in mind that you may experience some resistance to letting go. No worries, Hawkins reminds us that it’s normal and usually a sign of a limiting belief in the subconscious. Have you heard any of these sayings before:

– “We only deserve things through hard work, struggle, sacrifice and effort.”
– “Suffering is beneficial and good for us.”
– “We don’t get anything for nothing.”
– “Things that are very simple or easy aren’t worth much.”

To help you break up these limiting beliefs, it helps to focus on your deservingness and enough-ness. Perhaps your Hypno-affirmation for the month can be:
-I am worthy of a beautiful life.

-I deserve to feel good in my body

-I am in control of my reactions, I am resilient

-I easily and effortlessly feel my feelings and let them go—my feelings do not control me

-I let go of the outcome and focus on doing my best each day

-I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life and I am open to receiving more

Let’s start the summer right, by letting go of the pressure we put on ourselves and of the negative feelings we’ve “Suppressed-then Expressed (but not neutralized)-then Escaped.” Sure, goals are great motivators, but it’s real easy to get attached to those future outcomes and, in turn, miss the other possibilities all around you.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

Did you know that 95% of your thoughts are repetitive? And, of the 60,000-80,000 thoughts that we think per day, 80% of them are negative and focused on our shortcomings.

If our thoughts are negative, two things tend to happen:
1) we focus only on the negative thought to the exclusion of everything else
2) negative thoughts have harmful effects on our bodies; negative thought patterns cause our breath to quicken, forcing the body into “fight or flight mode” and causing the secretion of cortisol to mobilize the body for action. Chronically increased cortisol levels wreak havoc on our mind and bodies.

Therefore, it’s imperative to be aware and in better control of your thoughts. In her article, “Personal Strategies to Reframe Your Negative Thinking,” psychologist Norma Lent Auerbach offers a list of the most common negative thoughts. Scroll down the list and see which negative thoughts might resonate with you:

-I’m a failure.
-I’m not pretty.
-I’m not handsome.
-I’m so dumb.
-I never have enough money.
-I can’t do that.
-I’m damaged.
-I’ll never be a success.
-I missed my chance.
-No one likes me.
-What if I fail?
-I’m so fat.
-I’m ugly.
-I’m not good enough.
-I’m not talented enough.
-I don’t know what to do.
-Nothing ever works out for me.
-I’m destined to be single.
-What if I get hurt?
-I’ll never get it.
-I’m such a loser.
-I can’t do anything right.
-I don’t deserve that.
-I’m not worth it.
-Something’s wrong with me.
-It has to be perfect.
-It’s too late for me.
-I’m so unhappy.
-I’m too picky.
-Life is hard.
-I can’t forgive myself.
-They won’t like me.
-I suck at this.
-I hate dating.
-I’m too shy.
-People will laugh at me.
-I’ll never be able to do this.

It’s CRAZY that we think some of these negative thoughts on loop over and over again every. single. day. Think about how much these thoughts might be holding you back, stuck in limiting-beliefs. Yikes!

Luckily, due to neuroplasticity, the brain has the capacity to change its structure. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS! In her article, Auerbach offers these tips:

Be Aware of Your Thoughts
Keep a notepad handy and write down any negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day. You’ll begin to see your patterns. This knowledge is so useful, as you can now start the process of reframing your thoughts.

Say CANCEL CANCEL or DELETE DELETE
While it takes time to change thought patterns internally, “you can start to immediately shift your perspective. Once you hear yourself repeat a negative comment, say out loud ”cancel, cancel” [or “delete, delete”] to alert your subconscious mind to disregard that thought.”

Change Negative Words/Phrases into Positive Ones
Replace the words that work against you, like instead of saying “I hate ______ ” say “I prefer ______”. And, replace global words like “always” and “never” with a statement like “I’m open to that experience” or “I’ll do it next time.” Same goes with how you phrase sentences: “I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m worthy of love;” “I’m broken” becomes “I’m healing;” “I’m so stupid” becomes “everyone makes mistakes;” “I can’t do this” becomes “I’ll figure it out; It will be okay.”

And, if you find yourself strongly attached to a negative thought (resistance is totally normal, you’ve been thinking some of these thoughts for decades), ask yourself, “What is the evidence for this?” and “Is this always true?” Slowly, but surely, you will start to break down this negative belief and see that it’s actually not the truth.

Keep a Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal helps you to deliberately focus on positive thoughts and feelings, moving you out of a lack and limited mindset into an abundant, positive mindset. You get more of what you focus on and this is a tool to keep you grounded and open to possibilities.

One of the BEST ways to break negative thought patterns is to change them at the subconscious level, where they live. A daily hypnosis practice will help you feed your new, reframed thought(s) to the inner mind when it is most suggestible. To help you accomplish this, here is a quick 10 Minute self-hypnosis recording:

Positive thought patterns will not make your life perfect and free of any pain or hardship, but they will empower you to take action in the areas of your life that you can control and to be resilient in the areas that lie outside of your control. Negative thoughts close you down to opportunities and possibilities, while positive thoughts open you up. May you live your life to the full!

Much love and happy editing,
Robin