Hey Friend!

I talk a lot with clients and friends about busyness and burnout, because they tend to go hand in hand. And, I’ve found that because, culturally, we tend to judge a person’s success and value based on what they “do,” it goes without saying that we overbook and overexert ourselves in a mad rush to constantly try to measure up, to be good enough, and to be worthy.

Best-selling author of Do Less, Kate Northrup, writes, “It’s recently come to my attention that I have a habit of, or perhaps even an addiction to, proving my worth through constant activity…

How many meaningful conversations in the car with my husband have I not had because I was checking my email for the twentieth time that day?…

How many breaths have become shallow from being caught in the spin of constant activity?…

How many precious moments of stillness have I missed because I feared what might come up during the pause?”

Northrup offers the following list as signs you might be addicted to busyness:
– As much as you crave white space on your calendar it also gives you anxiety.

– You notice yourself checking your phone obsessively throughout the day, particularly when you are tired, overwhelmed, or anxious.

– More than once, a close friend or family member has said something about your compulsion to engage with your phone or computer and how it affects your relationship.

– When someone suggests that you relax and do nothing, you say to yourself or out loud, “What the heck does that even mean? What do people do when they do nothing?”

– When you do find yourself doing nothing, you feel guilty that you aren’t being productive.

– You mentally tally the number of productive hours you’ve had at the end of the day and judge how you feel about yourself by how full your day was.

– You find yourself “complaining” about how busy you are while simultaneously feeling proud of having so much on your plate that you can barely breathe.

– You say that you’re too busy to meditate, move your body, nap, hang out with your girlfriends, make love, prepare healthy food for yourself, or go on dates (with yourself, your spouse, or new people).

In our busyness, we’ve subconsciously created behavior patterns and habits that make our busyness feel “normal,” while making downtime and rest feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar–hence, we resist it. Only by creating new habits and behavior patterns can we break free from the pull and overwhelm of busyness.

5 New Habits/Practices to Help You Slow Down, Use Your Time Effectively and Feel More in Control of Your Day
1. Schedule at least one engaging and fun activity that you can do every single day. Put it on your To Do list and treat it as a priority. This way, attending to your needs and desires, no matter how small, becomes part of your daily routine. Also, this communicates to your subconscious that your needs/wants/desires matter. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: I make space for what matters most.

2. Don’t over-commitment to social engagements. Time with friends and family is important, but when you spread yourself too thin, these engagements begin to feel taxing and draining. Learning to say no, without guilt or shame, will help to create healthy boundaries for restoration and downtime, keeping your social events about connection rather than obligation and/or resentment. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: I am at my best when I am rested and recharged. It is safe for me to take a break.

3. Create more space in your day by learning to work more efficiently. Perhaps, you can batch calls and meetings so that you’re not switching gears all day long or you can make tasks easier to complete by getting a handle on your perfectionism. Brené Brown recently posted this quote, “Perfectionism, the 20-ton shield we lug around hoping it protects us from experiencing judgement, shame and blame, when all it really does is keep us from being seen, and it’s heavy AF.” It’s important that we know our limits and allow ourselves to complete and let go. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: Being is just as valuable as doing. Downtime is valuable time.

4. Wake up naturally on your own, without an alarm, as often as possible. To help with this, take this affirmation through your daily hypnosis practice: My creativity is fueled by rest.

5. Start or end the day with a 10 minute hypnosis recording:

Along with helping to reprogram your subconscious mind, this practice will also help manage stress and deepen your breathing. It’s important to our health (mind, body and soul) to quiet our mind. A hypnosis practice will keep you grounded, relaxed and motivated. Consider this hypno-affirmation for your practice: Doing less allows me to have more of what matters in my life.

I hope you find the time to practice doing less of what overwhelms you and more of what brings you joy, presence, connection and peace. Remember, working with the subconscious will help you stay aligned with what really matters to you in your life–helping you stay more aware of patterns that deplete your energy.

Change takes time, but showing up as your most aligned and rejuvenated self deserves a spot on your calendar!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

Did you know that 95% of your thoughts are repetitive? And, of the 60,000-80,000 thoughts that we think per day, 80% of them are negative and focused on our shortcomings.

If our thoughts are negative, two things tend to happen:
1) we focus only on the negative thought to the exclusion of everything else
2) negative thoughts have harmful effects on our bodies; negative thought patterns cause our breath to quicken, forcing the body into “fight or flight mode” and causing the secretion of cortisol to mobilize the body for action. Chronically increased cortisol levels wreak havoc on our mind and bodies.

Therefore, it’s imperative to be aware and in better control of your thoughts. In her article, “Personal Strategies to Reframe Your Negative Thinking,” psychologist Norma Lent Auerbach offers a list of the most common negative thoughts. Scroll down the list and see which negative thoughts might resonate with you:

-I’m a failure.
-I’m not pretty.
-I’m not handsome.
-I’m so dumb.
-I never have enough money.
-I can’t do that.
-I’m damaged.
-I’ll never be a success.
-I missed my chance.
-No one likes me.
-What if I fail?
-I’m so fat.
-I’m ugly.
-I’m not good enough.
-I’m not talented enough.
-I don’t know what to do.
-Nothing ever works out for me.
-I’m destined to be single.
-What if I get hurt?
-I’ll never get it.
-I’m such a loser.
-I can’t do anything right.
-I don’t deserve that.
-I’m not worth it.
-Something’s wrong with me.
-It has to be perfect.
-It’s too late for me.
-I’m so unhappy.
-I’m too picky.
-Life is hard.
-I can’t forgive myself.
-They won’t like me.
-I suck at this.
-I hate dating.
-I’m too shy.
-People will laugh at me.
-I’ll never be able to do this.

It’s CRAZY that we think some of these negative thoughts on loop over and over again every. single. day. Think about how much these thoughts might be holding you back, stuck in limiting-beliefs. Yikes!

Luckily, due to neuroplasticity, the brain has the capacity to change its structure. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS! In her article, Auerbach offers these tips:

Be Aware of Your Thoughts
Keep a notepad handy and write down any negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day. You’ll begin to see your patterns. This knowledge is so useful, as you can now start the process of reframing your thoughts.

Say CANCEL CANCEL or DELETE DELETE
While it takes time to change thought patterns internally, “you can start to immediately shift your perspective. Once you hear yourself repeat a negative comment, say out loud ”cancel, cancel” [or “delete, delete”] to alert your subconscious mind to disregard that thought.”

Change Negative Words/Phrases into Positive Ones
Replace the words that work against you, like instead of saying “I hate ______ ” say “I prefer ______”. And, replace global words like “always” and “never” with a statement like “I’m open to that experience” or “I’ll do it next time.” Same goes with how you phrase sentences: “I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m worthy of love;” “I’m broken” becomes “I’m healing;” “I’m so stupid” becomes “everyone makes mistakes;” “I can’t do this” becomes “I’ll figure it out; It will be okay.”

And, if you find yourself strongly attached to a negative thought (resistance is totally normal, you’ve been thinking some of these thoughts for decades), ask yourself, “What is the evidence for this?” and “Is this always true?” Slowly, but surely, you will start to break down this negative belief and see that it’s actually not the truth.

Keep a Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal helps you to deliberately focus on positive thoughts and feelings, moving you out of a lack and limited mindset into an abundant, positive mindset. You get more of what you focus on and this is a tool to keep you grounded and open to possibilities.

One of the BEST ways to break negative thought patterns is to change them at the subconscious level, where they live. A daily hypnosis practice will help you feed your new, reframed thought(s) to the inner mind when it is most suggestible. To help you accomplish this, here is a quick 10 Minute self-hypnosis recording:

Positive thought patterns will not make your life perfect and free of any pain or hardship, but they will empower you to take action in the areas of your life that you can control and to be resilient in the areas that lie outside of your control. Negative thoughts close you down to opportunities and possibilities, while positive thoughts open you up. May you live your life to the full!

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I don’t know about you, but I have mixed feelings about social media. As a business owner, sure, it’s a great way for people who don’t know me to learn more about me and my work. And, personally, I love finding cool artists, yoga instructors, activists, vegan chefs and other wellness practitioners through social media.

But there is also a real shallowness to social media and when I consume too much of it, I begin to feel insecure (compare and despair) and guilty for wasting so much time. It’s for those reasons that I purposely limit my time on the platforms.

Jeff Orlowski’s Netflix documentary,The Social Dilemma, exposed the horrifying reality that WE ARE THE PRODUCT the SM companies are selling; our attention, privacy and activity is being tracked, targeted and sold at profit margins never before seen in the history of commerce.

And now, there is a new trend by tech and social media companies to throw around terms like “ethical persuasion.” It’s like a PR campaign designed to mitigate their role in using people’s precious time for profit. In her book, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, artist, writer and educator at Stanford University, Jenny Odell, explains that companies are now working on ways to “make persuasion more ethical…using ‘harmonious designs that continuously empower us instead of distracting and frustrating us.’” She goes on to argue, “I can’t help but ask: Empower me to do what? Good for me according to whom? And According to what standards? The idea that I’ve already lost the battle of attention doesn’t sit right with me, [I’m more] interested in gaining control of my attention rather than simply having it directed in ways that are deemed better for me.”

The more we give away our attention, the more we are pulled away from the people in our communities, from our own independent thoughts, and from our own intrinsic interests. Technology ethicist James Williams warns that the attention economy, “undermines our capacities for reflection and self-regulation, making it harder, in the words of Harry Frankfurt, to ‘want what we want to want.’ Thus there are deep ethical implications lurking here for freedom, wellbeing, and even the integrity of the self.”

In 1997, theoretical physicist [Micheal Goldhaber](https://econreview.berkeley.edu/paying-attention-the-attention-economy/e) asserted that information is not scarce, attention is. At the end of her book, Odell says, “Sometimes boycotting the attention economy by withholding attention is the only action we can take. Other times, we can actively look for ways to impact things like the addictive design of technology, but also environmental politics, labor rights, women’s rights, indigenous rights, anti-racism initiatives, measures for parks and open spaces, and habitat restoration–understanding that pain comes not from one part of the body but from systemic imbalance.” Odell reminds us that limiting our screen time also allows us to make a bigger impact in the world and especially on the people in our community.

As an advocate for and lover of hypnosis, I use my daily hypnosis practice to bring me back to the present moment, where I can control my actions and behaviors. My practice allows me to listen to my breath, feel aware of my emotions, and connect back to this time and this place. From there, it’s easier to resist the temptation of reaching for my phone out of habit.

Here are 5 additional tips I’m trying to refocus my attention and start cultivating greater attention and presence:

1. Stop using my phone in bed. My phone charger is on my bedside table, so it’s convenient for me to lie in bed reading articles, checking SM and perusing the internet. But, I’ve decided to move the charger into the kitchen, starting today!

2. Allow myself to DO NOTHING. I get anxious sometimes, thinking that I have to constantly be working or producing to be successful, but I’m working on that limiting belief…and instead reinforcing the new belief that I am inherently worthy.

3. Go out into nature EVERY DAY and pay attention to what I see, feel and experience. I sometimes walk my dog outside, while staring at my phone! Now, I will practice taking deep breaths, observing the plants and animals around me, and smiling or greeting anyone who walks past me.

4. Set and enforce a new rule: no phones at the dinner table!

5. Make art and play. I’m going to carve out time in my day to play. Today, I will paint and tomorrow, I will practice playing Taylor Swift’s “Cardigan” on the piano.

6. Post and engage intentionally on SM. Because I know that scrolling through social media can put me in a hypnotic trance, I’m very careful to stay mindful of how I feel and what catches my attention. If it feels icky, I sign off and take a break. Likewise, I only post things that I think will inspire or benefit people’s lives.

7. Turn off notification badges on all social media and set screen time limits through my Screen Time app.

I hope this information was useful and worthy of your attention. I feel like most of us are dealing with negative habits and addictions around our phones and, in particular, social media. I don’t know how practical it is to outright quit all social media. I’m not going that far (yet); I think we all have to decide what balances and benefits our lives.

Happy editing,
Robin