Hey Friend!

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrases:

“What goes around, comes around.”
“Treat others how you’d like to be treated.”
“Judge not lest you be judged.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“The karma bus always arrives on time.”

Lately, I’ve been contemplating the spiritual idea/natural law of karma, trying to understand how best to navigate my life to create more balance, joy and peace.

In his phenomenal book, The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav, suggests, “When you choose wisely and responsibly while you are angry, judgmental, etc., you enter into the evolution of your soul consciously…Karma is not a moral dynamic. Morality is a human creation. The universe does not judge. The law of karma governs the balancing of energy within our system of morality and within those of our neighbors. It serves humanity as an impersonal and universal teacher of responsibility.”

For example, someone “that takes advantage of others creates an imbalance of energy that must be righted by the experience of being taken advantage by others.”

Looking at karma as energy that needs to be balanced, offers a clear way of understanding the idea that what we put out into the world comes back to us; Zukav writes, “the soul must balance its energy. It must experience the effects that it has caused.”

Therefore, every choice to be more compassionate, accepting or loving, provides the karmic exchange of positive energy. And, of course, every cruel, selfish and hateful choice provides the karmic exchange of negative energy that needs to be balanced.

Zukav offers 3 ways to become more consciously aware of your karmic exchanges:
1. Journal on these questions: How many times this last week did I feel angry, resentful, betrayed, superior, inferior, etc. and acted on that emotion? Have I ever said, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Write down examples. How many times have I felt hurt and wanted to hurt the person I felt was responsible? When something doesn’t go my way, do I look for the lesson or do I play the victim?

2. Implement a monthly Week of Kindness: Go out of your way to see how you can be friendly and kind to people that you encounter during the week. Extend this kindness to people you talk to on the phone, email, or write. Then notice how you feel and what effects you notice in your life.

3. Practice non-judgmental justice: When we judge, we create negative karma. Non-judgmental justice is a perception that allows you to see everything in life, but does not engage your negative emotions. Non-judgmental justice relieves you of the self-appointed job of judge and jury because you know that everything is being seen–nothing escapes the law of karma–and this brings forth understanding and compassion. So, practice seeing what you see and experiencing what you experience without responding negatively.

These exercises help us become more aware of our responses to life, and they remind us that everything we say and do carry consequences for ourselves and others.

To help you further, here’s a quick Hypnosis Recording on Karma and practicing non-judgmental perception. Grab your headphones and listen below:
Conscious of Karma

Every moment is an opportunity to consciously be more of the change we’d like to see in the world. A keen awareness of karma calls us to be more responsible and compassionate, for as Zukav writes, “when you understand that your experiences are karmic necessities, you are less likely to take them personally–to react with anger, righteous outrage, judgment, etc…creating fewer painful and more joyful experiences for yourself.”

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

Because most of the limiting beliefs and negative behavior patterns running in our subconscious minds stems from our childhood experiences (particularly with parent-figures), it makes sense that most people could benefit from Inner Child or Reparenting work.

In her book, How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole LePera writes, “most parent-figures never learned how to meet their own needs, let alone another person’s, passing on their own unresolved traumas and conditioned coping strategies. Even well intentioned parent-figures don’t always give us what serves us. Meeting all of someone’s varied and unique needs all the time is almost impossible. That said, if we lived with an emotionally immature parent-figure, our needs were likely routinely unmet or dismissed.”

Here are some common negative behavior patterns that indicate you may have a hurt Inner Child:
– Unexplained anger, outbursts, or aggression
– Wanting to control the behavior of loved ones
– Fear of abandonment
– Fear of rejection
– Fear of authority
– Feeling unworthy, not good enough
– Feeling like people don’t like you
– Problems with intimacy
– Not comfortable with challenges
– Addictions of all kinds
– Intimidated by sex
– Uncomfortable with love and affection
– “Acting out” sexually
– Hidden shame of self
– Lack of sexual involvement
– Not able to be authentic with true feelings
– Not able to hold lasting relationships
– Afraid to express needs
– Always need to be perfect
– Chooses abusive or emotionally absent partners

All children desire to be seen, heard and authentically expressed (essentially to be ourselves). When this is not supported or cultivated, those kids grow up to be adults that LePera says, “live from that protected place and familiar place of their ego (with all its stories) and often have an intense need to be ‘right,’ rejecting other people’s opinions and making others feel just as small and insignificant as they once did…

Others create avatars of themselves–always wearing a mask–fearful that they may scare people away if they show their true face. Some avoid any type of intimacy, and some cling to it desperately…

The manifestations run the gamut, but the way we heal these wounds is to give ourselves all the things we didn’t get as children…this is a process called reparenting, and it enables you to relearn how to meet the unmet needs of your inner child through daily, dedicated, and conscious action.”

Here are some ways to begin Inner Child/ Reparenting Work:
– Book an Inner Child Hypnotherapy Session
– Keep small promises to yourself each day
– Notice what causes you to be emotionally activated
– Listen to an Inner Child Hypnosis Recording
– Develop daily rituals and routines of self-care
– Say “no” to things that don’t serve you
– Witness your emotions without judgement
– Write a letter to your inner child and have her/him write back
– Do something you loved doing as a child
– Hold boundaries even if it’s uncomfortable to do so
– PLAY: sing out loud, dance around the room freely
– Do something unplanned, be impulsive and spontaneous
– Learn something new, without needing to be the best at it
– Cook yourself a home-cooked meal
– Spend time outside in nature
– Connect with someone you love
– Go to bed earlier
– Engage in fun activities that stimulate the positive child aspect
– Practice comfortable aloneness

BENEFITS OF INNER CHILD WORK
– Empowers you to re-parent yourself
– Encourages whole integration of self
– Allows forgiveness of self
– Creates an experience of self-love
– Softens resistance
– Strengthens early developmental stages that were corrupted or missed

It’s important to note:
Inner Child/Reparenting work can be emotionally triggering. This work can also unleash a great deal of anger, even rage, that you have towards your parent-figure(s). Many will desire that their pain be acknowledged, but LePera cautions, “It’s important to allow the anger in, be in it, and yes, communicate it if you choose–and it’s helpful to do so without expecting an outside party will validate your reality or experiences. The only person who can do this for you is you.”

It’s best to hold off on a confrontation until you feel “more tolerant of the uncertainty of the outcome,” meaning, you’re okay not getting an apology or having your feelings validated.

And, if you’re dealing with sexual abuse issues, I’d encourage you to do this work while working with a trained psychotherapist or support community, as this work may be too overwhelming to process alone.

To better serve you, I recently completed an additional hypnotherapy certification on “Healing the Inner Child: Hypnosis and Imagery.” I’m excited to bring these inner child techniques into my private sessions. If you feel called to start Inner Child Hypnotherapy work, click here.

Also, here’s a hypnosis recording I created called “Inner Child Meeting” to help you begin the process of reconnecting with your inner child. Listen below:

It’s normal to carry around pain from our childhoods. Keep in mind that the subconscious has no concept of time, so you may feel the pain of something that happened 30 or 40 years ago, as though it happened yesterday. LePera suggests that a quick and easy way to start meeting the needs of your inner child is by simply asking “What am I needing most right now?” Giving yourself exactly what you need moment to moment is a fantastic way to rebuild trust and love for yourself at any age.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

As a screenwriter, a hypnotherapist, an educator with a Master’s degree, and even as a mom, I’ve experienced intense moments of insecurity and self-doubt, commonly referred to as “imposter syndrome.” At these times, I’m inundated with thoughts like:

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“She’s better at this than me.”

“I’m going to fail at this; how embarrassing.”

“I need more training.”

“I’m not good enough.”

The psychological pattern Imposter Syndrome or Fraud Syndrome was first recognized by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in a 1978 research paper. It can be defined as “internally believing that you are not as competent and intelligent as others are…you fail to take credit for your success.”

Here are the range of symptoms Clance and Imes identified with imposter syndrome:

– Feeling inadequate
– Self-doubt
– Negative self-talk
– Sabotaging your own success
– Setting unrealistic goals and feeling like a failure when they can’t be achieved
– Anxiety
– Constantly comparing yourself to others
– Extreme lack of confidence
– Failure to trust your own intuition

Furthermore, in his article “Imposter Syndrome and Hypnotherapy Tools,” psychologist, NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist, William Horton describes personality types that can be prone to imposter syndrome:

The Perfectionist
These types are not satisfied with what they have done and they always feel that their work could be better. Instead of focusing on strengths, they stress over smaller mistakes. This constant tension can lead to depression and self-sabotage.

The Expert
These types are not satisfied with their ocean of knowledge, skills or certificates and always want to learn more and more. They pass up projects if they don’t feel they have 100% of the skills needed to complete that project successfully. This tension can lead to stagnant career advancement, as they always underrate their expertise.

The Natural Genius
These types, though naturally competent and skilled in a particular area, can often feel crushed if they face a difficult task and fail on the first try. This tension can lead to easily giving up, playing it too safe, or feeling humiliated and doubting/rejecting their inherent gifts/skills.

The Soloist
These types prefer to work alone and therefore refuse help from others, as they see this as a weakness. This tension can lead to overwhelm and poor performance, which can lead to self-sabotage.

The Superman/Superwoman
These types always push themselves to work as hard as they can. They often do a good job and need to succeed in all areas, but this tension can lead to unrealistic expectations, burnout, depression and self-sabotage.

Horton notes, “Imposter syndrome is related to other psychological disorders, including stress, depression and anxiety…the feelings experienced by a person who is suffering from imposter syndrome tend to go in a rhythm. The more the person achieves, the more they feel they don’t achieve, and they don’t deserve it.”

Many people at various points in their lives will be affected by Imposter syndrome. Horton identities “situations where people interact” as breeding grounds for Imposter syndrome; situations like a challenging work environment, a new or unfamiliar environment, a social platform in which new relationships are being formed, a family setting with high expectations, and any academic environment. Also, whenever we take on new role (become a parent, get a new position, move to a new town) we may be prone to feeling like a fraud and our feelings of inadequacy may be triggered.

Imposter syndrome is rooted in a lack of self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. To help you avoid feeling like an imposter or to shift those feelings once they start, I recommend taking one or more of these questions into your self-hypnosis sessions:

– Am I jumping to conclusions too quickly about this situation? Do I have any facts to back up these thoughts?

– Think of someone you love, if they were in this situation, how would you motivate and encourage them?

– What can I do to change my feelings about this?

– Is there another, positive way to see this situation?

– What do I gain by playing small? What do I gain by taking a risk?

– When was a time that you were enough, when you succeeded? How did that feel? How can you feel that way about this situation?

If you’d like more guidance on this, I’ve recently changed up the format for the monthly group hypnosis sessions. Instead of meeting for a live session once a month, I’ve decided to send out a hypnosis recording on the first of the month for the group to listen to throughout that month. We then have a pop-in, group meet at the end of each month to share our successes and ask questions. My goal is to provide you with a library of self-affirming and helpful hypnosis tracks to support you throughout your life. If you’d like to be added to the list to receive monthly, free hypnosis recordings, click here or comment to this post saying “add me to the list.”

This recording was aptly called “Confidence in Strengths and Talents.” To listen to the 10 minute recording, click below.

Remember, confidence is an inside job. For most of our lives, we’ve been conditioned to believe we’re not good enough, we don’t have enough expertise, we aren’t ready for that next step, and we’re going to fail if we stretch beyond our comfort zone–but all those thoughts are just our limiting beliefs…and we can change those and find the courage to move beyond them.

The truth is you are good enough. You are worthy of a beautiful life. There is no such thing as perfect. Everyone is still learning, no one has it all figured out. You know what you know, and you deserve to be seen and heard.

Don’t play small. Don’t hide from your well-deserved praise. Call out that imposter insecurity when it tries to show up, and let hypnosis get you back on track!

Happy editing,
Robin

Hey Friend!

I don’t know about you, but time seems to be flying by these days. Summer is upon us, and now is a great time to regroup, reassess and realign. I’d invite you to journal on or ponder these questions:

– What goals did I set for myself back in January?
– Did I accomplish or am I close to accomplishing my goals?
– If not, what resistance is coming up, and what is that resistance telling me?
– Am I still in love with my goals? Do I need to pivot?

One thing that I’ve noticed about my “goal-setting process” is that I often get really attached to the outcome; I feel “pressure” in my body and myriad negative feelings when things don’t go the way I wanted.

In his book, Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender, David Hawkins, MD, PhD, exposes how harmful those attachments can be to us and how that pressure and those negative feelings thrust us into a vicious cycle of Suppression, Expression and Escape:

Suppression – “The feelings that we select to be suppressed or repressed are in accord with the conscious and unconscious programs that we carry within us from social custom and family training. The pressure of suppressed feelings is later felt as irritability, mood swings, tension in the muscles of the neck and back, headaches, cramps, menstrual disorders, colitis, indigestion, insomnia, hypertension, allergies and other somatic conditions.”

Expression – “The expression of negative feelings allows just enough of the inner pressure to be let out so that the remainder can be suppressed…[but what really needs to happen is] the repressed impulse or feeling [has] to be neutralized, sublimated, socialized and channeled into constructive drives of love, work and creativity.”

Escape – “Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. We can avoid our own inner selves and keep our feelings from emerging by an endless variety of pursuits, many of which eventually become addictions as our dependency upon them grows. Enormous amounts of energy are required to keep down the growing pressures of suppressed and repressed feelings.”

When we feel pressure and the negative feelings that come with it, we need to get it out, neutralize it and let it go. So, how do we keep from suppressing our feelings? How do we let go?

Hawkins asserts, “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it any different or do anything about it. It means simply to let that feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.”

“The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling…Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. ‘It is resistance that keeps the feeling going’…a feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates.

His book encourages us to live in a surrendered state, “free of negative feelings in a given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without opposition or the interference of inner conflicts…it allows us to experience the basic nature of the universe, which, it will be discovered, is to manifest the greatest good possible in a situation.”

Lately, I’ve been practicing letting go and surrendering outcomes. I’ve been using it in my hypnosis practice, and it’s been helping abate that “pressure” feeling. Here’s something that you can try during your next self-hypnosis session:

– Focus on an area of the body that feels tense or focus on a negative feeling that’s coming up.

– Get curious about the tension or the feeling.

– Ask it questions, like where did you come from, what are you protecting me from (remember, the subconscious is always trying to keep you safe, even if it’s actually harmful to you)?

– Really feel the emotion or pressure.

– Visualize it dissipating. Break it up with bright healing light, light it on fire and watch it burn to nothing, blow it up with a glitter bomb, pour some “love peroxide” all over it and hear it fizz into nothingness.

– Then feel the weight of the pressure and feelings lessen, feel the lightness, the freedom, the happiness, the peace that fills that space now. Sit with that peace and that lightness for as long as you want, and then open your eyes.

Keep in mind that you may experience some resistance to letting go. No worries, Hawkins reminds us that it’s normal and usually a sign of a limiting belief in the subconscious. Have you heard any of these sayings before:

– “We only deserve things through hard work, struggle, sacrifice and effort.”
– “Suffering is beneficial and good for us.”
– “We don’t get anything for nothing.”
– “Things that are very simple or easy aren’t worth much.”

To help you break up these limiting beliefs, it helps to focus on your deservingness and enough-ness. Perhaps your Hypno-affirmation for the month can be:
-I am worthy of a beautiful life.

-I deserve to feel good in my body

-I am in control of my reactions, I am resilient

-I easily and effortlessly feel my feelings and let them go—my feelings do not control me

-I let go of the outcome and focus on doing my best each day

-I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life and I am open to receiving more

Let’s start the summer right, by letting go of the pressure we put on ourselves and of the negative feelings we’ve “Suppressed-then Expressed (but not neutralized)-then Escaped.” Sure, goals are great motivators, but it’s real easy to get attached to those future outcomes and, in turn, miss the other possibilities all around you.

Much love and happy editing,
Robin