What is the subconscious mind?

The subconscious mind is where 95% of brain activity takes place: memories, bodily functions, intuition, creativity, thoughts, imagination, emotions, habits, values and beliefs are all housed and ruled by the subconscious mind. Therefore, working with the subconscious becomes critical for any substantial change in your life.

Isn’t change really just about willpower?

No! Willpower and “positive” thoughts done at the conscious level (beta brainwave state) work slowly and may not be that influential in the long term without a TON of repetitions. This is why diets or New Year’s resolutions routinely fail. Unless you’re working at the subconscious level to get at the root cause of an issue, no real deep or lasting change can take place.

Why work with the subconscious mind?

Research shows that from ages 0-7, we are frequently in a theta brain wave state. As such, our subconscious minds soak up all of our experiences like a sponge; it does this in order to keep us alive, safe and protected. However, if we experience any negative or dysfunctional situations (which everyone has), due to our young age, we can interpret these experiences in faulty ways. We pick up untruths about what did or did not make us lovable or acceptable, and we become a slave to those thoughts and beliefs producing the same negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs on loop. The only way to heal, reframe, and move on from this misinformation is to work with the subconscious mind and free yourself from your past and negative patterns.

Example 1 – Can’t Seem to Find the Right Partner:

As a child, your dad cheated on your mom, which caused tension, fighting and turmoil in their marriage. Therefore, you formed the belief that marriage was hurtful and full of deceit. As an adult, you routinely date unavailable and dishonest people; in fact, you find that you are most attracted to these types of partners, because they are familiar to your “programming.” Even though at the conscious level, you rationally know that there are honest people in the world and even though you want a healthy relationship, you find that anytime someone is respectful and faithful to you, you will sabotage the healthy relationship because it exists outside of what is familiar and therefore “safe.” Or you might find these relationships boring and unsatisfying. Until you heal the untruths lodged deep in the subconscious, you will have a very hard time believing that healthy relationships are possible and good for you.

Example 2 – Terrified of Rejection:

As a kindergartner, you were feeling silly and during an activity you performed a made-up dance for your classmates. They all laughed, but your teacher scolded you in front of everyone and said you looked ridiculous. Being a kid, you saw your teacher as an authority figure, so you blindly programmed at the subconscious level that she was right and that being silly and playful is dangerous (as it makes you unworthy of love or approval). As an adult, you never dance or act playful in any way. In fact, you are very uncomfortable in situations where others behave in spontaneous, unstructured ways. You may even have a physical reaction like breaking out in a sweat or breaking out in hives. It’s like you have an aversion to fun and a fear of looking “ridiculous,” as it equates to feelings of rejection in your mind. However, because of this limiting belief, you don’t have many friends, as people see you as rigid or boring. Until you begin working with the subconscious mind, you will not be able to fully and confidently love all the parts of yourself (especially the rejected parts).

Example 3 – Unhealthy Relationship with Food:

You love your grandma! In fact, you formed so many fond memories of baking cookies and cupcakes with her in her kitchen. Every holiday and celebration contained her adored dishes and treats. Because you felt so loved and safe there with her and because you were so young, your mind erroneously programmed that food, especially junk food, equals love and safety. Now as an adult, you can’t seem to get a handle on your weight, namely because you turn to food for comfort. There is a completely irrational fear at work in your mind that if you stop eating the junk food, you’d stop feeling loved. There could also be feelings of fear and guilt around breaking traditions, like you’d be abandoning your grandma by rejecting her food. In this case, until your unconscious mind separates the love of your grandma and food (as they are one in the same in your mind), it will be very difficult to control your emotional connection to food. 

Example 4 – Can’t find Happiness:

While your parents loved you as best they could, you only really received praise, attention and affection when you followed their rules. ASB President of your class, prestigious college acceptances, a high-paying job and an “acceptable” life-partner–you are the epitome of “success.” You have met all the markers of what society sees as “having it all.” However, you feel absolutely empty inside and disconnected from who you truly are. You may even be physically experiencing panic attacks or autoimmune issues. In the pursuit of other people’s ideals of excellence, you lost touch with what you wanted and needed. Until you take the time to check-in with the subconscious and deal with the anger/rage, sadness, and grief you may have buried, due to blatant self-denial, you will continue to feel like a shell of a human being or like an actor playing a part.

Example 5 – Money Problems

Did you grow up in a household that had STRONG opinions about money or “rich people”? Perhaps you often heard things like, “He’s a rich a**hole,” “Must be nice,” “money doesn’t grow on trees,” “Money can’t buy you love,” or “Money is the root of all evil.” With this rocky foundation creating almost an enemy out of money, you find that you frequently self-sabotage in the area of personal finance. This could manifest in extremes, like living in constant worry that your money will disappear, therefore you never spend it or you spend lavishly and irresponsibly because you fear that having too much money is somehow bad. Until you suss out the untruths that you’ve come to believe about money, it will continue to be a source of stress and drama in your life, holding you back from being free.